Arangetram (Part 2)

Dancing on stage was a completely different experience from dancing in rehearsals. The fact that there were about 300 people watching me including eminent dancers and musicians and the Principal and Deputy Principal of my school who I invited, made me choke. I closed my eyes and tried immersing myself in the wonderful world of dance. I knew that all I needed was to focus and enjoy the experience of dance with live music, under the lights, that would make the entire world disappear in my mind. I took deep breaths, reminded myself of my love for dance, closed my eyes, calmed down, rolled my shoulders back, and stepped onto the stage as confidently as I could. It took me a while to get used to the stage, ensure that I’m covering enough space and get into the ‘zone.’ By the third piece – the Varnam – I could feel myself engaging with the characters more. It’s a remarkable feeling, the feeling when you know you’re there. When you know you are the character and the character is you. When you stop worrying about who is watching and start enjoying the dance. 

I could feel at times that I am no longer Alekhya Sengupta Banerjee. I had to become Goddess Durga, followed by the devotee in the piece “Jaago”; the nayika deeply in love with Shiva in the “Varnam”; a loving mother, Yashoda and the naughty little Krishna in “Jagado” and a happy entertaining dancer in the “Thillana”. Switching characters, emotions, expressions from one to the next was challenging but in the flow, it seemed as if I was discovering their respective nuances as I was performing. I could feel my level of engagement increasing with time; I started enjoying my dance and it seemed so much worth the effort. During the Thillana i.e. the last piece I performed, a part of mine didn’t want it to end so fast. 

When the lights finally went off and I exited the stage for effectively the last time on that day, I felt a mix of emotions – RELIEF, excitement, and well a feeling of emptiness as for the last 2 months, my life pretty much revolved around dance and rehearsals. Now that the Arangetram is over, the thought that I no longer will have rehearsals almost every day created a sense of vacuum.